I looked back at my blog to find out how I was doing with this years resolutions. Then I discovered I actually didn’t blog about it in 2014. Oops!
I know that my most recent resolutions (which I prefer to call goals) were smile once each day and more ‘me time’.
If I take those for a moment, I will reflect on how I am doing on that regard.
Sufficed to say this year has been another hard one for a couple of reasons.
I have had a lot of work related stress this year. It made me re-evaluate life, based on my view point that life is short, so it is for living.
Teaching is all I have ever known. I have been a teacher ever since leaving university. I am actually not sure what made me originally decide to teach, but I loved my job for quite a number of years. Then things started to change. It was no longer about the kids, it was about the bureaucracy. Too much other stuff began happening in education which meant that my focus, which was originally about the children, watching them learn and grow, was taken away. It became about paperwork, politics, statistics and testing. The volume of work was increasing, and the job satisfaction was decreasing. I have disliked this for a number of years, I wanted to see if it was any different in a new country. Would New Zealand rekindle my love for education? No, sadly it didn’t. The problems were the same, if not a little bit amplified, and the job I loved – MLD special needs, doesn’t exist here at all. The volume of work expected is even greater, so much so that you are given 24/7 access to the school buildings to enable you to complete your job. Teaching became who I am, rather than what I do.
After a lot of soul searching, it was time for a change. This scared me to death.
What would I do exactly? How do I convince employers in a brand new country that I actually can do something else other than teaching?
The decision I made was a tough one. I chose to take a very low paid part time job in a completely different sector. This has enabled me to free up more time for myself, more time for all my sports that I had been forced to give up (due to lack of time) and more time to study courses and topics that interest me. This is enabling me to retrain myself, making my interests into my new career: personal training, coaching (and hopefully also massage).
This is still work in progress, however:
Did I achieve the aim: more ‘me time’?
Yes, absolutely I did. Money most definitely does not buy you happiness, I can tell you that for certain.
I haven’t been 100% successful with this one, although I am making strides to at least recognise when I flail and redirect myself.
I have made a real effort in in recent months to create myself some space to relax. I also have a scrap book type note book where I have places all sorts of different things from inspiration, to happiness reminders, the answers to all the most regular things I worry about, a very visual book I can flick through when I need to.
I constantly remember Mum, how life was snatched from her, and how we need to make the most of our finite time on this earth. This memory grounds me in reality and reminds me how lucky I am to be me, to have what I have, live in the beautiful country that I live and have taken a major step this year to taking charge of the direction of the rest of my life, creating the happiness that I want.
With the challenges life throws at us, all we can do is take each day at a time, do the best we can do, and create our own happiness. That is what I will continue to do in 2015.