It feels weird. I didn’t think it would bother me as much as this. They’re there, I’m here. What am I on about?
PruHealth Triathlon World Championships Grand Final, London, England. 13-15 September.
The truth is, I’m not sure, on the back of a knee operation, that I would have had time to get back to fitness and qualify, but who knows. I didn’t get the chance to try.
It’s the first World Championships since I joined the team in 2009 that I will not be at. It’s probably my only chance in my lifetime at a home world championships too.
I feel numb, gutted, so sad that I am not there. I see all my friends preparing for their big day and my life will just trot right on as normal, that seems strange.
There’s so many things I need to get my head around, I think I need a list.
- I recently had to cancel my gym membership because I could no longer afford it. I was sponsored by my gym before I left England.
- Another concussion set back. It’s spring. I am running out of time.
- I am actually really concerned about the running. I’m not feeling that confident that I can get it back to speed. Plus I have a torn ligament in my foot that is now giving me bother
- I cannot find healthy bars here in NZ. I used to LOVE Nakd bars. There’s nothing like that here.
- I’ve lost my focus. I am not sure what races to target, and can’t afford a coach at the moment either.
It has been a tough tough year. I need a holiday. One that is pleasant, not a helter skelter trip to the UK to attend a funeral.
I need to stop focussing on the grand picture and how many miles I am away from fitness, and start focussing back on the small steps forward that I can make.
Step 1: Cycling fitness. I think that’s a good place to start.
Good luck to all those racing in London. Have a beer for me, and I’m looking forward to seeing photos of all those medals.